WE ARE VERSATILE! WE ARE STRONG! WE ARE RESILIENT!
I was born in from Southern California and lived there until I was 18.
I have a younger sister, step- sister and step- brother who are older. My dad was a marine. My biological mom died from a motorcycle accident when I was 13 years old. Her passing was really tough for me. Shortly after her passing, I started my freshman year of high school then in my sophomore year my dad and step- mom moved us to another school district. I started a new school my junior year.
Needless to say, my childhood was rough. I had to learn to adjust and to adapt to a life that was so very different than what it was at 12. My life had changed so fast, from losing my mother to a number of rapid back to back changes in a short period of time. I was angry and had to learn that I couldn’t just lash out when I wanted to. I had to learn to pick my battles. That was one of the hardest things I learned growing up.
After high school, I found myself in the mall one day and an army recruiter approached me and seemed to have the solutions for the things I needed and wanted at the time. I needed a job, health insurance, and money, and I had aspirations of traveling the world … they were able to accommodate all of those… the next thing I knew, I had joined the army! I joined and went to basic training. I was active in the army for 7.5 years and in that time, I had my daughter and got married.
My marriage was not a good marriage. My now ex-husband was an alcoholic.
My ex-husband was discharged from service as he had gained too much weight and wasn’t trying to correct it. We moved back to Texas where he’s from originally. It was a town of about 1700 people and I hated it. He was drinking every day until he passed out. When I was married to my ex-husband, I had two ectopic pregnancies back to back. With one of the miscarriages, I lost a fallopian tube in my first emergency surgery on New Year’s day 2016. Then I had my second ectopic emergency surgery where they were able to save my second fallopian tube in February 2016. I fell into a depression and was very bitter and hurt, because I didn’t understand why I couldn’t carry a baby to term after having my first child. I started eating what I wanted. I was self-medicating and I gained a lot of weight. My marriage, having the ectopic pregnancies and my husband’s drinking had taken a toll on me and I had reached a point where I could honestly say I empathized with people who committed suicide. I felt very alone.
One day, I reached out to my sister and parents here in Indiana and decided that I was leaving. I made plans and one night, I waited for him to leave for work and I packed up my little Honda Civic and left and stayed at a hotel with my daughter for the night. Then in the morning, we got up and drove to Indiana. I was 27 at the time and my daughter was 6. Once I saved enough money, I divorced him.
I was in Indiana and I was able to get my feet under me and begin to settle in as a single working mom. Adjusting to the idea of being a “single mom” for me, was harder than the “being” a single mom. Fast forward some and I am happily in a relationship with a man who lived right across the street from me when I was in Germany during my time in the army. Neither one of us realized it at the time. My boyfriend and I got pregnant again and I could not believe it. It was another ectopic pregnancy and I was heartbroken. We went to a fertility clinic to consult about what to do with my one fallopian tube and in November 2018, I had surgery to take my last tube. I don’t think I will ever fully recover from that because I just don’t understand why I was able to have my daughter and then lose my other babies. Losing those babies left me feeling defenseless as a mother because I couldn’t keep those babies alive.
I’m trying to make peace with that, though I don’t know that I ever will.
I will be moving to California in June because I decided to rejoin the military. I decided to rejoin the military because I missed it. I didn’t want to go back to the army, so I joined a different branch – the navy. I was out of the military for 3 years and knew that I needed to get in shape. I am in my 30’s now and some things have changed … including my metabolism. I decided that I wanted to join a gym that offered personal training to help me get in shape for my re-entry into the military. I ended up choosing Fit Chicks to help me achieve that goal.
I love my workouts. I love that it feels like a family environment. I love bonding with the community of women at Fit Chicks. I love the nutrition because it’s not a diet. Fit Chicks has helped me get back in shape and I am feeling so GOOD!
My journey continues, but as I reflect on what I’ve gone through, and what life has been for me up to this point, I hope my daughter learns from me that it’s okay to make mistakes. I want her and anyone who reads this to have a desire to be strong and always strive to be better … keep going. I want her to see me taking care of myself and working at being HEALTHY and always striving to be a better me. I want other women to know it’s not easy being a woman sometimes and that’s okay. I get judged a lot by men because I work in a male dominated field. I want women to know they can do absolutely anything. We are versatile. We are STRONG. And we are RESILIENT. Everyone has a back story. Everyone has their challenges. Don’t ever let your back story, slip ups, or challenges stop you from doing what you want to do and BECOMING who you want to be … I didn’t let it stop me.